The Unspoken
by Kenichi Matsuyama
Summary: formally 'the tears that have never been shed' The many secrets that Heero tried to hide are coming to light. Can he handle the others knowing or will he fall apart in the process. Main couple Heero/Duo others are mentioned. Angst/Comfort/rape
1. Nightmare

**The Tears That Have Never Been Shed**

1

Heero rolled over in his bed, the sheets were wrapped around his body. Sweat rolled down Heero's face, his skin a dull shade of gray. The only noise that could be heard was a whimper ever minute or so. Luckily Heero had the house to himself, usually he didn't sleep around them. They could never find out what he dreamed about.

_"Hold still!!" the elderly man screamed.  
Heero continued to struggle as men strapped him down to a table eagle spread. The man laughed cruelly and said, "Leave Us." Heero's eyes watched as the men left him to the mercy of this monster. Heero squeezed his eyes shut, he knew what was coming. Heero's eyes opened quickly, he let out a pain filled scream as pain surged through his lower abdomen. Tears fell down his face as the pain increased. All he could hear was the man's laughter as he slipped into the welcome darkness._

Heero sat abruptly up in bed, his eyes wide and his breathing harsh. Thunder shook the sky outside Heero's window. His head pounded as the memory began to fade. Doctor Fulkum had given him medication to suppress these memories, and without realizing it he passed out without taking his meds. This was going to be a long night.


	2. Side Effects

Hello Peoples! If you want me to update this damn thing, REVIEW PLEASE!! I need to know my writing doesnt suck...that much...thanks.  
2

Heero walked down the dark hallway, making his way toward the bathroom. Opening the medicine cabinet he reach inside for his prescription. His hands shook as he tried to open the bottle, causing him to drop it. Groaning at his clumsiness he retrieved the fallen capsules, and placed the pills back into the bottle. Swallowing 3 pills he walked toward the kitchen, knowing that he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. Sitting at the kitchen table he sipped at a fresh cup of coffee.  
A sudden wave of dizziness broke him out of his daze. The sudden realization that he had overdosed hit him. Pushing against the table he tried to rise to his feet. He tripped over the chair legs, and fell to the floor. The ceiling changed colors and the world around him began to fade.  
Heero lay in the middle of a dark field, his mind spinning. Off to his right he could see Duo, Quatra, Trowa, and Wufei, but standing between them was him. Fear surged through his body, as he walked closer. Heero found he couldn't move, the monster reached down and grabbed his throat, lifting him off the ground. Heero tried to draw air into his lungs and couldn't. He began to panic as his eyesight blurred, he looked toward the other pilots as his vision went black.  
"HEERO WE'RE HOME!!" Duo shouted from the front door.  
No response was normal, so they continued to bring in the groceries. Walking into the kitchen Duo dropped the bags he was carrying. "HEERO!" Rushing to his fallen comrade's side he pulled Heero's head into his lap as the other pilots rushed in.

"Have you identified the drug in his system?" the doctor asked.  
"Hypnocil, it's an experimental drug. It hasn't even been approved by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA)."the nurse answered.  
"Really? What does it do exactly?"

"It's a dream suppressant. It's mechanism is similar to that of anti-epileptic drugs, except that it works during sleep time. It prevents the REM (rapid eye movement) phase of sleep."

"Any side effects?"

"Side effects include nervousness and coma if taken too long in heavier than recommended dose. We don't know where he got it from."

"So he's in a comatose state?"

"No, just unconscious."

"(sigh) Alright, well I'll go talk to the people who brought him in."

Doctors rushed around the busy hospital, everyone there was on edge. The G-pilots waited for news of there friend. A doctor walked toward them, Duo stood up praying that he was ok. "Are you the people who brought in a...Mr. Heero Yuy?" "Y-yes."

"I have a few questions for you. He has no family correct?"

"Not that we know of." Quatra chimed in.  
"Was he on any type of medication?"

"No."

"Does he have a sleeping disorder?"

"...Not that we know of."

"Does he have suicidal tendencies?"

"Well..."

"Hmm...let me ask you this, do any of you have a sleeping disorder that you have a prescription for?"

"No."

"Alright, thank you."

The doctor got up to leave, and Duo asked, "Is he ok?"

"We're not sure. We'll update you when we have more info." The doctor left, and Duo fell back onto the cheap leather chair. There worry had spiked at the mention of suicide. "You don't think that..." Trowa's voice seemed to fade out.  
"...I hope not..." Duo muttered.

Just so you know this takes place during the war, but after EW. Sorry it's not very long. I ran out of ideas. Review, and send in some ideas for what you want to happen. Thanks.


	3. A Rude Awakening

3

Heero sat up and took in his surroundings, almost instantly his mind registered the fact that he was in hospital room. He shot up and swung his legs over the side. Tearing the IV out he ran toward the door, the hallways were remotely empty; in expectance of the occasional nurse. He didn't see the line of doctors and nurses that ran in his room when his heart monitor showed his vital signs flat line.  
He couldn't remember what had happened though he ran as fast as he could toward the nearest exit. Nearly there Heero collided with a man, Heero backed up slightly only to freeze. "Unit 01, Dr. J wishes to see you."

Duo watched as a doctor rushed toward them. "I'm sorry," he began, "But your friend Mr. Yuy has gone missing."

"WHAT?!" Duo practically shouted.  
"What do you mean missing?" Quatra asked.  
"We left him, not minutes ago, and when we came back; due to the fact that his vital signs flat lined; we found he wasn't there."

"DAMMIT!" Duo cursed.

"WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU WATCH HIM?" Duo yelled, his voice echoing through the halls.  
"Please sir, keep your voice down. I'm sure he's OK." He said as a nurse walked up behind him.  
"Doctor?"

"Yes?"

"We found the patient on camera, he ran into someone. They left together."

"I see, could we find out whom?"

"No, we can't make out his face."

"What do you mean they left together?" Duo asked.

"Ahh, Unit 01. I've been waiting for you." J said staring at a screen.  
Behind him Heero stood motionless, fear etched into his face. "Now, now; you aren't afraid of an old man are you?"

"Come now Unit 01, what could a harmless old man like me do?" And as if to answer that a needle was driven through the side of Heero's neck. Almost instantly Heero felt his body go limp, he recognized the drug as a paralysis drug. Arms lifted him and placed him on a table. Strapping him down with metal cuffs, Heero stared blankly at the ceiling. "Heheh don't worry, this won't hurt. For long."

Duo was quiet in the car ride home. "Duo, I'm sure he's ok." Quatra said in a comforting tone.  
"Look Heero wouldn't go with anyone who is an enemy. He's smarter than that." Wufei stated matter of factly.  
"Yah." Quatra agreed.  
Despite the fact that that was true, Duo couldn't shake the feeling that Heero was in danger.

Heero's scream echoed throughout the room as the pain increased. Laughter echoed through the room as the man continued his relentless torture. "P-please s-stop" Heero managed to sputter.  
"Stop? Why ever would I do that, when I'm having so much fun?" Another scream followed this question. The older man grunted and finally stopped. "Unit 01, your punishment is complete. Don't let me find Hypnocil in your system again, understand?"

"Y-yes."

They all sat in the living room in silence; despite their weariness their minds were all focused on Heero's disappearance. As if to answer that the front door opened and Heero walked in, limping slightly. "HEERO!" Duo shouted.  
Heero spared no glance at his concerned comrades. "Heero?" Quatra called. "Are you okay?" Heero continued to limp toward his room, the only sound audible from Heero was the slamming of his door. "What was that about?" Trowa ask.  
"I don't know but I'm going to find out." Duo announced.  
"This can't be good." Wufei muttered.  
"Nope." Quatra agreed.  
So how'd you like it? I know it's short and all but my computer crashed so I have to use the schools. It's a killer┘anyway review!


	4. Overdose

4

Duo pounded on the door his fists thudding dully creating the only other noise than Duo's angry voice. "HEERO OPEN THIS DAMN DOOR RIGHT NOW!"

Groaning Heero pulled the blankets above his head in an attempt to rid himself of the loud noise. "HEERO!" Reaching under his pillow he grabbed his .44 magnum, (Broken Butterfly) and shot the door frame. Duo jumped, "WHAT THE HELL MAN!"

Heero almost cried now at the intensity of his migraine. Though the shot alarmed everyone, Duo continued to bang on the door; despite the major risk of losing his life. Heero knew that Duo was stubborn though he thought that the shot would have made Duo back off.  
The pounding stopped for but a moment before a small knock and Quatra's voice was audible. "Heero? We just want to know if you're okay, I mean you can't just leave the hospital without the doctor's permission. We are all very worried about you, you know? Look I'm going to tie Duo to a chair in the kitchen so he doesn't bother you, but I do expect an explanation for you disappearance┘even if it's not the whole truth." And with that the house went silent.  
Heero pressed his palms into his temples, his head pounding. These headaches had only started recently, and only after he had taken the medicine. _'Is this some side effect of the Hypnocil?'_ he thought bitterly, popping another pill into his mouth.  
Heero must have been staring at the ceiling for twenty minutes before he began to feel dizzy. Swirls of colors swam in front of his eyes; his throat constricted making it almost impossible to breath. It took but a moment for him to realize that he had overdosed, and as his mind fell into darkness; he could only watch as everything faded.

_A dark field rose around him, on one side was a willow tree surrounded in lilies. And on the other were crumpled buildings, shrouded in an ominous black light. Heero lay between them, unable to move. A small angelic figure emerged from beneath the tree, wearing a white robe that matched his blond hair and green eyes. Heero felt a chill run through him, his eyes moving to look the opposite direction. There was the perfect solider, blood smeared on his pale face. Heero closed his eyes and wished that this would end. "Heero." The small figure whispered, "Heero, you don't need to take that medicine. Fight it! If you face your fears then nothing will be able to stop you. Not even him."_

_"SILENCE, YOU ARE WEAK, I WILL MAKE YOU PERFECT AGAIN! THOSE PILLS WILL HELP!" the other figure argued.  
"No! Those pills will kill him! He doesn't need to be perfect, Heero you're afraid of him aren't you? Listen to me; don't run from your feelings! He controls you through your fear, you must realize the power that you have deep inside you! You can def-"_

_"I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO DESTROY HIM! YOU WILL CONTINUE TO TAKE THE MEDICINE IT'S THE ONLY WAY." _

_Heero whimpered, "Heero, everything's going to be okay, I promise." The small figure said.  
Heero felt himself being lifted into the angelic figures lap, small fingers running through his hair. It was odd, he was being held and he wasn't afraid. "See? If you learn to trust and except your emotions than," the figure said; his voice getting deeper, ", nothing can harm you." _

_Heero looked up and came face to face with Duo, Heero felt his stomach flutter."__D-Duo?" he stammered.  
"Doesn't this make everything better?" The figure asked.  
It did, being in Duo's arms he felt that nothing could hurt him anymore. He felt at peace, here there was no war, no missions, and no battles to fight. It was just them, he was accepted and that made all the difference in the world. The dark field began to change, turning into the serene garden that now surrounded Heero. Fingers pulled Heero's hair and yanked him from Duo's arms, while a strong hand wrapped tightly around Heero's neck. "You think he would accept YOU?" the perfect solider ask. _

_"You're worthless; he doesn't and would never love you!"_

_That hurt, Heero felt his heart shatter, and tears welled up in his eyes. "HEERO!" the smaller figure yelled, ", don't listen to him! Duo cares a lot about you; he is always looking out for you. Won't you let him get close enough to ever truly show you what it's like to be loved? You have to let him in!" Heero closed his eyes pleading that this be over, all of this was too much.  
_

A loud thud echoed through the house, Duo (who was still tied to the chair) jumped up and hurried toward their room. (Heero and Duo share a room in this fic) Kicking the door down he saw Heero whimpering in his sleep. Again the thud rang throughout the house as Heero's booted foot hit the wall. "n-no get away..." Heero muttered. _'A nightmare?'_ Duo thought curiously.  
"Heero," Duo said, ", wake up! Heero, wake up!"

Heero struck out in his sleep nearly punching Duo in the face._ 'What did Sister Helen do to me when I had nightmares? Oh, yah!'_ Duo thought with a smile.  
He pulled Heero into his lap and rocked him back and forth slowly, running his fingers through his hair while whispering. "It's okay, I got you. It's okay, Heero, your safe with me." Heero seemed to calm at Duo's voice though something happened then that Duo hadn't planned. Heero snuggled closer to Duo's chest his hand clutching the material of Duo's shirt. Duo blushed deeply, though he pulled Heero closer into his embrace. "It's okay; everything's going to be alright. You're safe now."

Duo watched as an expression of peace covered Heero's handsome features. Duo felt his heart melt, ever since he had met Heero this is what he had wanted. For Heero to be happy, that was why he worked so hard to get emotion out of Heero. Though the longer he was around Heero the more he noticed how he really felt for the Asian man. Duo buried his face in Heero's neck enjoying being close to the man he loved so. Breathing in Heero's scent he smiled and closed his eyes. Intent on enjoying what probably was the closest he would ever get to Heero.  
Heero felt warmth surround him and felt arms pull him close. He was now sitting under the willow tree in Duo's arms. Duo kept whispering softly to him, "It's okay, I got you. Your safe with me, I won't let anything hurt you, I promise." The perfect solider reached to rip him from Duo's arms but couldn't. Heero pulled himself closer to Duo's chest and held tightly to the material of his shirt. He wasn't going to let himself be torn from Duo's arms again. He realized then that this was heaven, here in Duo's arms. Smiling he closed his eyes and allowed Duo to snuggle into his neck. Everything was perfect, a though occurred to him and he looked for the angelic figure. He saw the small child standing by a small koi pond smiling at him. He wasn't in that figures arms? Did that mean that he really was in Duo's? Deciding that he didn't care either way, he closed his eyes and allowed himself to rest.  
Duo opened his eyes slowly still intent on sleeping. A strong smell assaulted his senses and caused him to smile. Looking at the man in his arms he smiled, Heero still slept soundly. Though, how long had they slept? Looking at the table between the beds the clock read 8:46 P.M., it had been 5 hours! A concerned frown appeared on Duo's lips, looking down he wondered briefly if he should call a doctor. _'What if it wasn't a bad dream? What if he needs medical attention? What if something bad happened and I just sat here instead of helping?'_ Duo thought in panic.  
Reaching over Heero he picked up the phone and dialed the doctor at the hospital.  
"L2 Colony Hospital, how may I help you?" said a nasally voice on the other end.  
"I need to speak to Dr. Ramirez."

"Hold please."

It took but a moment to connect before, "Hello?"

"Doctor, Heero's back, though I think something may be wrong with him."

"Really, give me your address."

"Why?"

"Well, my shift just ended and I'm going home. I'll stop by to take a look at him."

"56982 Grand Avenue."

"Alright, I'll be there soon."

It hadn't been twenty minutes when a knock rang through the house. "IT'S OPEN!" Duo shouted.  
The door opened, the doctor rushed in carrying a black bag. Crouching beside Heero he withdrew a needle from the bag and gently pushed into a vein. Drawing 4 mL of blood the doctor withdrew and said that he would be back briefly. Duo frowned, this was odd though he would wait.  
Quatra and Trowa returned from their romantic night out and were entirely wrapped around the other. Noticing Duo on the couch holding an unconscious Heero they immediately rushed to them. "What's going on?" Quatra asked, the concern in his voice evident.  
"Yesterday I heard a loud noise and when I went to see what it was, I found Heero asleep. Or so I thought. He's been like this ever since, and since then he's developed a high fever. A doctor came by yesterday and is coming back today with the test results." Wufei arrived shortly after, and they all sat quietly around their comrade and friend. The sound of sirens alerted them, Dr. Ramirez, along with a few paramedics, rushed into the living room. "We have to get Heero to a hospital NOW!" he urged.  
They lifted him onto a stretcher, and carried him out the door.

I know I'm a bitch for stopping it a such a point, but I felt it a good point to piss readers off at. Don't worry though I'm already writing the 5th chapters so don't worry! I'll update soon┘.that is if you review. Only now do I see the importance of the reader's opinion to a writer. Though does anybody actually read this? Anyway all comments are welcome! Till next time, Bye!


	5. Dreams

5

At the Hospital

The low beep of the monitor seemed almost too loud in the small room. Heero was in the ICU (intensive care unit) and according to the doctors the amount of chemicals in Heero's system was extremely high. They had said that there was almost no chance that Heero would make it through the night. Duo sat on the edge of the hospital bed; he had been there since they had arrived. Silently Duo cried clutching Heero's hand like it was his last thread of sanity.  
The door opened and Dr. J walked in, his face blank. Trowa rose to meet him, "J, I'm surprised to see you."

Acting surprised Dr. J replied, "I came as soon as I heard. How is he?"

"For now he's alright. The doctor's say he might not make it through the night."

"Heero is like a son to me, I don't know what I would do if I lost him." As Dr. J said that the room fell into an uncomfortable silence. Quatra stood and gave J his seat. Had they have known the danger Heero was in, they might have been more alert. Though would it have done any good?  
Heero felt a shudder run through him, looking up he saw that Duo was crying. "Duo, what's wrong?"

"Heero, why won't you wake up? I need you."

"Duo, I'm right here."

"Please wake up I don't want you to die."

"Die? Why would-?"

"Please Heero, wake up."

Heero was getting slightly annoyed at this, "Duo, I'm right here!"

Reaching up to touch Duo's face he watched in horror as his hand moved straight through it. "W-what's going on?!" The small angelic figure looked at him and smiled sadly. "Listen to him Heero. If you don't wake up, you'll stay here forever alone."

The word alone echoed in his mind sending fear through the man. "What? I don't-" "Heero." Duo muttered again.  
Heero covered his ears, not wanting to hear the desperate and broken cries Duo had to offer him.  
They all jumped as Heero's heart rate accelerated quickly, causing the monitor to beep loudly. A doctor rushed in followed by a nurse. Taking out a needle they pushed medicine into the IV. Everyone watched in horror as Heero's heart rate only went faster and they all feared the worst. Duo watched with blank eyes as the doctors worked frantically to help Heero. It was odd that even though his heart rate was through the roof, Heero's expression hadn't changed. He looked calm and collected. "Please..." Duo whispered softly ", please wake up Heero...please..."

The pain that stabbed at Heero from all sides was agonizing. Clutching his chest he curled up and whimpered. Duo's words reached him, "It's okay, it's okay, you're safe now. It's okay...Shhh...I'll protect you from everything I promise." Duo's promise echoed in Heero's head, looking up he saw Duo staring blankly at him; his lips moving as if trying to speak. Heero jumped toward him and to his surprise he could feel Duo. Heero buried his face in Duo's neck and squeezed his eyes shut.  
"Duo..." It had been a whisper, though it was real.

"HEERO?!" Quatra jumped up from Trowa's lap.  
"Duo..." Heero repeated.  
Duo smiled, "I'm right here, I'm here Heero."

Heero's eyes remained closed, but a beautiful smile pulled at Heero's lips. "Duo...what-" "Shhh don't try and talk. Rest, you're safe now. You're safe." Duo whispered.  
Duo ran his hand over Heero's cheek, smiling for the first time in days. Quatra tackled Trowa, crying into his shirt. (Wufei had passed out a while ago, it was that damn needle that did it...I swear...) Everyone felt the ominous clouds that had hovered over them for days vanish, and they all seemed to melt at the first warmth of the sun. Heero's hand tightened around Duo's, and though Heero's grip was weak it pulled Duo out of the depression he had been in. "Duo," Heero began again, "I had a dream and you were there. You kept telling me to wake up; though I couldn't reach you┘it was like I wasn't there..."

Heero's ramblings didn't make much sense though Duo smiled and said, "I'm always here, I knew that if you heard a familiar voice that you could follow it and back to us." Heero nodded and gave a smile. Duo felt his heart melt at the sight, Heero smiling was something unheard of; but he was glad that he was the one making him smile. "You should have seen the place," Heero continued to mumble, "it was beautiful. It was a field covered in white lilies, and I was lying beneath a willow tree..."

Heero fought within himself to tell Duo that he had been in his arms. Heero wanted that to be a reality, to feel that warmth and safety that he had felt then. Duo smiled and whispered softly, "Rest, you've had a long day."

I'll continue to post as much as possible as long as you review this...k? (Kidding, writing is my passion...) Though I probably post stuff faster if you reviewed...oh well...


	6. Hospital Ruins

6

Dr. J watched the scene with mild interest, standing up he made his way toward the door. "J, are you leaving?" Quatra ask.  
The question caught Heero's attention, who froze at the mention of the Doctor. "Yes, Heero I'll be by to check on you later. Rest, you're in good hands." Dr. J said, making his exit of the room.

Duo's attention turned back to Heero as he felt Heero's hand grip his tightly. "Heero, are you okay?" Duo asked concern evident in his voice.  
"F-fine." Heero stuttered.  
The pilots exchanged looks, something was off. "Heero, what's wrong?" Quatra ask.  
Before Heero could answer the wall behind Heero and the floor collapsed. The sound of an explosion echoed through the hospital. Duo coughed and pushed rubble off of him. Voices echoed around him, another explosion shook the now crumbling building; sending Duo into a panic. Where was Heero?  
The taste of metallic and a choking sensation woke Heero. Coughing hard he noticed the blood that dripped from his mouth as he did. Bringing a shaking hand to his mouth he used the back of his hand to test for blood. The large amount surprised him greatly, _'what happened? An explosion?'_ He thought wirily.  
Pushing against the ground he found a large weight on his back. Looking over his shoulder he noticed that a section of the wall had landed on him. He rolled over slightly and began the task of unburying himself. Another explosion shook the corridor and Heero's eyes widened as he saw heavy rocks falling towards him. The rocks piled up, though a large piece of the wall landed on Heero's chest with a sickening crack. Heero gasped as the rock shattered most of his ribs, the pain shooting through his limbs; making his body freeze. The taste of blood grew stronger and Heero was gasping trying hard to draw air into his lungs._ 'I TOLD YOU, YOU ARE WEAK!'_ the voice of the perfect solider echoed through Heero's slightly conscious mind.  
"n-no...I'm not w-weak..." Heero stuttered.

_'I'M NO LONGER GIVING YOU THE CHOICE! GET UP'  
_

"I-I can't...I'm so t-tired...'

_'GET UP!'_

"I just...need...a little...rest..." and as those words passed his blood covered lips he fell unconscious.

"DUO?!" Quatra yelled.  
"QUATRA IS THAT YOU?" a voice answered.  
"DUO, WHERE ARE YOU?"

"OVER HERE!" Quatra followed the voice Trowa following close behind him.

A figure became clearer and they recognized Duo. He was pulling rocks off of Wufei, "Hey, help me with this." Duo asked his breathing slightly heavy.  
"Where's Heero?" Trowa asked as they set to work on freeing there friend.  
"I don't know, the floor collapsed he must have fallen." Duo answered pulling Wufei free.  
"We have to find him; he was in bad enough condition as it was." Quatra said out of breath.  
Voices echoed through the dark hallways, the pilots looked at each other. "The other patients!" They exclaimed in unison.  
"Look, we'll find Heero; but for now we need to get these people out of here!" Trowa interjected.  
They nodded, though there minds still remained concerned about the wing pilot.

Heero woke, his mind blurred. He shivered his body cold from blood loss. "Well, I'd say this plan worked wonderfully. Wouldn't you?" an amused voiced asked.  
"Quite." Another voice answered.  
"O-Oz..." Heero stuttered.  
"Bring him." The voice commanded.  
Hands pulled him from under the pile of rubble, and threw him over their shoulder. "W-where the hell are you t-taking me?" Heero demanded to know.  
"All in good time, my pet; all in good time."

It had been hours since the attack and rescuers now helped with the effort. The building finally gave way, collapsing completely. "NO!" Duo shouted.  
The pilots rushed toward the rubble throwing rocks, looking frantically for there friend. Police officers pulled the panicking pilots back, forcing them to stay away from the rubble. "HEERO!" Duo shouted.

The pilots watched as people were loaded into body bags, and others were loaded into ambulances. Duo remained silent throughout the hours that they had been there. "I want to believe that Heero's okay...but...how could anyone survive that?" Quatra asked quietly.  
"Well it's Heero after all, I mean he is indestructible." Wufei said.  
They all knew that Heero seemed to have nine lives, but it was hard to believe that anymore. Heero could be dead and it would be their fault for not looking for him first. Duo cried silently into his palms; Quatra wrapped his arms around him, rocking him gently. "It's going to be okay, Duo."

"No, Quatra it's not." Duo whispered.  
The surprise on Quatra's face wasn't missed. "I always lose everyone I love..." Duo went on to explain, ", Heero...I...cared so much for him...I was just so afraid that he'd get hurt, or that-"

Quatra cut him off with a sharp slap, "Don't ever stop loving someone, or hide it because of your past. Sure no one is perfect, and I can understand why you're afraid but that's no reason to keep something like love from Heero. He's probably never even been told that he is loved or cared about. You must understand that love has nothing to do with your past, nor those who are dead. Love comes from within and must be cherished."

Trowa smiled at his blond angel's wisdom, and wrapped his arms around him. "Q's right, Duo, if you hide your emotions neither one of you will be happy."

Heero woke to a hand caressing his cheek. The contact made Heero's eyes open quickly and he tried to move away. Restraints held him in place and as his vision became more focused he recognized Zechs smiling at him a hand buried in his hair. Swallowing the lump in his throat Heero put on his mask and glared at the man daring to touch him. "That look won't work on me, after all I'm not tied to a table." The man said with a sinister smile.  
Heero snorted and looked away. Though he couldn't hide the fear that had risen in him, "Your so beautiful, my pet." The man said.  
The touch sent Heero into a panic; he would not become a slave to this man. The panic increased when the man tore off the cloth boxers he was wearing and smiled.

Duo lay curled up in Heero's bed, his legs drawn to his chest. "Heero..." he whispered.  
The scent of the missing man surrounded him, sending a wave of emotion through the already fatigued pilot. "Where are you?" He whispered.  
Tears flowed down his face, pulling a pillow closer to his face he thought of why he had hidden his feelings from Heero. They suddenly seemed silly to him, _'Did I really think that...?'_ he though morbidly.  
He smiled as he noticed that Heero's bed smelled of wild cherries and the forest after the rain. Inhaling deeply he smiled, allowing himself to sleep.  
Blank eyes stared at the tiled floor as he lay against the stone wall. Broken and beaten he curled up slightly, before going instantly back to their original position. The pain was large and his body was too tired to take it anymore. _'I want to die...gods...it hurts so much...'_ he thought bitterly before slipping into welcome darkness.

Heero stood in a clearing, light rain fell around him. "Heero?!" he heard a voice cry.  
Turning he saw Duo across the field, and felt his entire world crash down around him. Duo was shocked at Heero's condition, he was bleeding and bruised. Without any hesitation Duo ran and held Heero tightly in his arms. "Heero I-"

"Duo...help me..." Heero cut him off.  
"What?"

"Oz destroyed the hospital...I...need your help..."

"Where are you?"

"Oz base 42613...I don't know how much longer I can..."

"Heero, listen I swear that I'll find you and I'll take you home."

"...home is where the heart is..."

"What?"

"Duo...no matter where...as long as I with you...I'll...be home..."Heero could feel himself beginning to wake, he frantically clung to the dream. Duo leaned down and kissed him softly. _'Mine'_ he thought possessively.  
Heero woke with a start jumping up, he let out a cry of pain as his wounds protested the movement. Wincing as blood began to drip from the old wounds. "Well, good morning my pet." A cold voice said from across the room.  
Heero was instantly alert and immediately sneered at the man that dared to come closer to him. "This cage won't be necessary once I fully break you."

Heero felt his heart hammer at the thought of what break you' meant. "Is that fear I see in your eyes?" Heero pushed himself as far from the man as he could, he hissed slightly when his back met the cold metal bars.

Glaring at his capture he watched the smile on the man's face turn into an amused grin. "You can not escape me, pet. You belong to me, remember that. I can choose to kill you at any time. You are mine to do what I want with."

Duo had Deathscythe flying quickly toward the base Heero had told him about in his dream. The other pilots followed him, they weren't sure how Duo knew this but if it meant finding Heero they were willing to risk it. The base was within the debris that floated around Earth and was hidden well.  
The man ran his fingers down Heero's cheek, smearing blood across the tan skin. He planted a soft kiss on Heero's forehead before hurling him across the room. Heero whimpered softly in pain, trying to be quiet; so as not to give this monster satisfaction for his pain. It was true Heero was afraid, but not of death, or of any thing this man could do to him. He was afraid of never being found, he didn't want to be forgotten, as if he had never existed. _'But that's what you are...you are nothing...and you will never be anything...'_ the perfect soldier sneered at him. _'SHUT UP!'_ he argued back. He couldn't get that voice out of his mind. He could no longer hear the angel's voice, though the soldier's voice was still clear. Heero watched helplessly as the man came closer to him and picked him up by his hair. Pulling out a knife the man sunk the blade within Heero's gut. Heero let out a small gasp, fresh blood dripping from his torn lips. "You're so beautiful, even in pain." Heero spit in his face, the only retort he had left. The man let out a laugh, "No one will find you, and when I'm done you'll wish you were dead."


	7. Confessions

7

"Duo, are you sure this is the place?" Trowa ask.  
"Yes." He answered.  
"But it's deserted." Quatra said quietly.  
Walking further in the base they heard something bang. A man's voice echoed through the halls. "No one will find you, and when I'm done you'll wish you were dead."

Duo kicked the door open his gun pointed at the occupants. "Heero?!" Duo exclaimed.

Heero was being held up by his neck, his body covered in fresh blood. "GET AWAY FROM HIM!" Duo yelled at the grinning man.

Heero could barley keep his eyes open anymore, he was tired and sore. His head throbbed in an unforgiving headache as his eyes began to fall shut. _'THEIR HERE HEERO, LOOK!'_ the angel's voice belted out. And through half-open eyes he saw them standing at the door. He felt himself sinking, something else taking over his body. Cold eyes snapped open, as he twisted the man's arm. A loud pop sounded throughout the room as the arm was torn from its socket. The man holding him up cried out in pain and backed up from the now lively soldier. The other pilots could tell that Heero was struggling to move, but the odd shape to his wrists also became more noticeable to them. _'His wrists are broken!'_ Duo thought. Heero took one wrist in his other hand and twisted hard, before doing the same to the other. The small series of pops that were created by the bones being reset weren't missed by them. Heero looked toward the man who was now charging at him. He met the man half-way, his fist hitting Zechs in the ribs.  
They saw a large amount of fresh blood fall to the ground between the two. Heero winced slightly as the man smiled and withdrew a large knife from Heero's gut. The blood loss was affecting the perfect soldier, his mind become more and more blurry as he moved. Heero fell to his knees as he brought a hand to his stomach. A loud gunshot brought Heero back to attention. Zechs fell to the ground a bullet hole on the side of his head. Heero pushed himself to his feet his body still exhausted from the fight. Duo ran toward him and caught Heero as he fell unconscious. "It's okay now, you can rest."

It had been two weeks since Heero had been brought to the hospital. Heero had lost a lot of blood and had been in a coma ever since. The doctors weren't sure whether Heero would wake up or not. No one was sure how Duo had known where Heero was, they were grateful but curious. Duo had refused to say though; he said that it wasn't important how he knew. Duo hadn't left Heero's side for more than a minute within the time he had been there. He was gripping Heero's hand tightly, his head rested on the side of the bed. Every now and then Heero would flutter toward consciousness before returning back to normal. Heero's eyes began to slowly flutter open and he left out a soft groan. Everyone sat up and looked at Heero expectantly. Heero's eyes opened halfway and he stared blankly at the ceiling. _'What happened? Where am I?'_ he thought wearily. "HEERO!" Duo shouted happily.  
Heero's head turned only slightly to face the loudmouthed baka beside him. Duo's heart shaped face smiled brightly at him, happy that he was awake. "How are you?" Quatra ask suddenly.  
"Hm." Heero answered.  
Duo looked up, his expression asking for them to leave. Heero watched as the others left the room, leaving him alone with Duo. "Heero...?" Duo ask timidly.  
"Hm?"

"I want to tell you something..."

Aren't cliffy's fun? Too short? I know, I have a bunch of crap to do at school so typing this is a pain. Anyway to those who reviewed thanks and stuff...I'll update as soon as I can.


	8. NOTES

Ello! I kind of lost direction with this story, I blame the therapy. Anyway, as I was playing with a cow plushy this morning; I realized that I don't know where to go from here. So, if you would like me to continue this then send me some ideas! And if you do read this note than bless you!! Not that you sneezed...right...any who, my e-mail is below send me stuff. Criticism, naked yaoi of Heero and Duo (hopeful look), ideas, flames...anything...k? Wells...'till next time!  
-Kenichi

P.S.  
I have the I'm the Only Gay Eskimo' song stuck in my head...you know by Tenacious D? I know I'm psychotic, I was a superhero, but the therapists took my powers away...


	9. Hidden Pain

A/N: I'm SO sorry that it's taken me so long to update┘.anyways, I had this like horrible writers block and I finally had an idea for the story┘and if your still mad at me┘kudos for holding a grudge against a chibi yaoi fan who wants nothing more out of life than to be a sushi mascot! TTTT ahem Umm┘here's the chapter.  
Recap:  
Duo looked up, his expression asking for them to leave. Heero watched as the others left the room, leaving him alone with Duo. "Heero...?" Duo ask timidly.  
"Hm?"

"I want to tell you something."

9

"...What is it?" Heero muttered through his bruised lips.  
"Heero...I-I love you...and I have for sometime...I couldn't tell you because I was afraid but within the last couple of days I have been more afraid than I have ever been...and I never want to feel like that again."

Heero's eyes were wide and he merely stared in shock at the man before him. "Heero...when you disappeared I thought I would never see you again..." by this time there were tears running down Duo's heart shaped face. The pain of rejection was growing every second that Heero said nothing...did nothing...or even acknowledge that he was there.  
Heero's mouth had gone dry and as much as he wanted to respond, the words seemed to have died in his throat. Tears were stinging his eyes as he continued to watch the crumbling pilot in front of him. "D-Duo?" Heero managed.  
Duo raised his face to look at the man he considered an angel, and was surprised by the utmost sorrow that was sketched into his face. "What's wrong?!" he ask concerned.  
"Why?" was Heero's reply.  
"Why? Why what?"

"Why do you love me? How could you...you're an angel and I'm...dirty." Duo was surprised at the self-degrading words that flowed from Heero's mouth.

"What are you talking about?" He asked confused.  
"I...I can't tell you...but...I want to. You...you deserve better..."

"Heero, I want you! Can't you see that?"

"People come and go Duo; and are forgotten. I am nothing compared to so many...there are times that I ask myself why I even try...it's so hard Duo. It's just so hard."

"What's hard?"

"To keep up this facade; it's so exhausting and I just don't have the energy anymore."

"Oh baby." Duo whispered, as he pulled Heero's broken body to him.

He had never seen the boy in such a fragile state. _'What happened to you Heero?'_ Duo thought unhappily.

The next morning:  
Heero slowly regained consciousness as the morning light spilled into the small hospital room. Groaning softly he began to raise his head but was stopped by an arm wrapped around his shoulders in a manner that was comforting in a way that was unusual and new to the perfect soldier. Raising his eyes he saw Duo's face sleeping peacefully; as he rested against the head board. _'This feeling...what is it? My stomach feels as though it's fluttering┘almost like butterflies...'_ Heero wondered.  
The sunlight streamed across Duo's face and seemed to cast a perfect shadow across his face. A deep blush made itself known to Heero as he stared at the angel holding him. Duo's eyes fluttered slightly before beginning to open. Looking down he noticed Heero was staring at him. "Morning sunshine." Duo whispered before kissing Heero lightly.

A/N: so whatcha think? I know it's short but I think it's a good start for something...I don't know. Anyways review and tell me what you think! Domo arigato gozaimasu!! btw I reposted all of the chapter thanks to all those who reviewed and informed me of the errors that occured when I uploaded it. Arigato!!


	10. Butterfies and Truths

hA/N: What's up? I thought I should update out fear for my life. Anyways...I'm at my dorky friend (OW...she just smacked me too...TTTT sniff I'm so abused...) Aerith's house. She's beating me...anyways I stoleded (LOL) her computer for a while and decided to type. Anyways thanks for continuing read this crap.

9

Heero's eyes widened as Duo's lips made contact with his own, his heart rate accelerating. His body began to shake in fear involuntarily. Duo pulled back quickly as he felt Heero's body quake, looking down he could see the fear that shown brightly in Heero's eyes. "Heero? I'm sorry! I didn't mean to upset you..." Duo said panicked.

"N-no...it's not you...it's just...never mind..." Heero mumbled before rolling away from Duo. He couldn't take Duo's expression anymore; he was sure the guilt would kill him.

"...Heero? What's wrong?" Duo asked worry building up in his chest.

Heero merely shook his head hoping to stop Duo's questions before he said something he'd regret. "Heero...please, look at me. Talk to me!" Duo said placing a hand on Heero's arm.

Heero's shaking increased, only this time it was sorrow that caused it. Tears began to make their way onto Heero's unusually pale face. "D-Duo...please...I..I can't tell you...please don't make me..."  
Heero sobbed.

Duo pulled Heero's shaking frame against his own, surprised when Heero hid his face in his chest. "Heero why can't you tell me?" Duo said his voice lowering to a whisper.

"I don't want you to hate me...I wouldn't be able to take it if you did." came the broken reply.

"Hate you? Oh Heero, baby, I could never hate you. There is nothing that could do that, I love you. I want to be able to help you but in order for me to do that I need to know what is bothering you; please let me in."

Heero merely shook his head, try to disappear in Duo's embrace. Duo pouted slightly, _'I'm not excepting that!! I know something is wrong...but what could it be?'_ he thought. Gripping Heero's shoulders he pried Heero off of him. "Heero, please...tell me what it is! I love you dammit!! Why won't you let me in?!" Duo said shaking him by the shoulders lightly.

Fear shown clearly through Heero's blue eyes, as Duo's tone was slightly angry. Duo, upon realizing what exactly he was doing stopped. "Heero...I'm sorry man. It's just...you always kept everyone at a distance and I want to help you, protect you from your fears. But you won't tell me what is bothering you so much...I just want to help..." he whispered as he began to cry.

Heero was stunned and wasn't sure what to say exactly. "Duo...I...want to tell you...but...I'm afraid to..." he said to the crying man.

"Why? W-what is so fuckin' scary about telling me?!" Duo retorted.

"He'll hurt you too!" Heero stated.

"No 'he' won't!!"

"YES HE WILL!! J WILL HURT YOU TOO! I DON'T WANT HIM TO TOUCH WHAT'S MINE!!"

(a/n: O.o ... )

The room fell silent as Heero, realizing what he said, covered his mouth and turned from Duo. Duo's eyes were wide with shock, "J? Wait...yours? Is that so?" Duo asked a mischievous smile on his face.

Heero looked at Duo's face, his cheeks stained with pink. "W-what?" he questioned.

Duo leaned forward his face only inches from Heeros, "So you've staked your claim, huh?" Duo paused chuckling softly, "well I wouldn't want to disappoint..." he trailed off as he kissed Heero softly.

Heero's eyes went wide for a moment before involuntarily closing and leaning into the kiss, his hands moved up to hold Duo's face. They parted for a moment before Duo took advantage of Heero's gasping mouth. There was no resistance as Duo's tongue tangled with Heero's, trying to coax Heero into returning the action .Heero began to return the action, slowly at first and he became more passionate as his confidence grew. They parted once air became a problem, Duo stared into the prussian blue eyes below him and Heero into violet.

A man stood in front of a monitor, a frown evident on his features. He was growing angrier and angrier as he continued to watch the screen. "How dare that L2 brat think he can take what's mine?! As long as I draw breath I will make sure that he suffers for this!!"

Quatra paced in the waiting room, Trowa watched him with slight annoyance. "Q, stop pacing your making me dizzy."

"I'm sorry babe, it's just...it's been along time. What if Heero rejected Duo? What if Heero hates him because of it? What if they stop being friends? I don't think-"

"Q! Stop, you and I both know that of all people, Heero will reciprocate Duo's feelings! It's quite evident how they feel about each other...even if they don't."

"You think so?"

"I know so, and with us around; Heero's safe."

**Ken:** So whatcha think? I am still working on making my chapter's longer but I wanted to post this because I know that there are people like me who check the updates on stories daily to help feed my obsession to yaoi. Anyways about the chapter, I know it's odd but I couldn't figure out how the crap to at least hint at what had happen; and as I was laying down to sleep the idea hit me. Let Heero blurt it out on accident!! I've seen it in many American movies...a slip of the tongue I think. Lol, anyways review and tell me what you think!! Arigato.

I was squealing at this point. Lol.

Guess who?


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